Red Ledger
by Sarah36396
Summary: One-shot. Set during the first Avengers movie. Natasha has knocked Loki out of Clint's head, or at least she thinks she has. The two have a conversation about her ledger and the red that resides there. Clintasha, Clint, Natasha.


**So I fell a day behind because my schedule has been so busy, so I needed to post two pieces in one day! I posted one piece early this morning and then spent my day hauling a horse across half of Texas, so I only had about an hour to sit down and actually write! And when in a crunch, I always fall back to my OTP. So enjoy some random Clintasha set during the first Avengers movie. We all know what scene this is. Just fleshing it out a little and adding some fluff. Thanks for reading!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned below or the first several lines which are quotes from the movie.**

"Well, if I put an arrow through Loki's eye socket I'd sleep better I suppose." Clint worked his jaw and huffed.

"Now you sound like you." Natasha's lips flicked with a smile as she sat down next to him.

But you don't." Clint turned his head to face, his eyes piercing her. " You're a spy. Not a soldier. Now you want to wade into a war…why? What did Loki do to you?" He found her eyes and held her gaze.

"He didn't…I just…" Natasha pursed her lips, her heart pounding in her chest. What was she supposed to say? That Loki had exploited her in a way that she only knew through her work on others? That he played her just as she played her targets? Sure, she had walked away with the air of confidence and victory, but it was a false pretense. Loki's words had shook her to her core, had brought all of her fears and demons to life at the same time. She dropped her head, looking at her hands.

"Natasha." Clint said softly. He knew he, he knew that she was not ok."

"I've been compromised." Her jaw hardened before she faced him once more. "I got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out."

"No, it is more than that. I can see that much in your eyes." Clint frowned. "What did he say to you, Nat?" Natasha sighed and leaned against the wall, the metal cool against her back. She didn't say anything for a long pause, failing to find the words to beginning.

"He told me…what he had planned for you. And I guess by extension, what he had planned for me."

"Which was?" Clint joined her against the wall, keeping his eyes on her.

"He was going to kill you…but, not before he made you take me out. And you wouldn't have just shot me…no. He knew everything Clint. Everything: the hospital fire, my father's name, all of it. What I fear, how I'd hate to die. He knew me in a way that only you know me." She flicked her eyes to his and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"Why would I tell him all of that?" Clint's hand hit the table in frustration and he ran a hand over his face. "I should've been stronger, I should have been able to withstand-"

"Being strong has nothing to do with it. I've seen Loki in action, I've seen what he can do. I'm not blaming you, so stop beating yourself up. You asked what he said, so I told you." She sat up, propping her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands. "He made me realize that you've compromised me."

"You tell me to stop beating myself up, but then you drop that on me?" He groaned and closed his eyes. "You're all over the place Nat."

"I've _let _you compromise me, Clint. There is no one else in the world that knows me like you. You know my every strength, my every weakness. You know where I go to hide, where I run away to when I need time alone. You know everything about my past, my fears, hell, you even know my favorite color. Who else knows me like that? No one."

"I guess you're right about that. But, you're the same way with me."

"My point exactly. We are each others greatest weakness, an Achilles heel so to speak."

"So am I the red you'd like to wipe out of your ledger then?" He asked softly. His head was still pounding and he rubbed at his eyes. "I know too much now? I've gotten too close? You're going to kill me like all the others?" His words turned bitter and his eyes flashed with a dark light. Natasha reached over and touched his cheek, her fingers cool against his clammy skin.

"Don't make me hit you in the head again. Come back to me."

"Ugh." Clint's fist clenched and he shook his head as if to dislodge the murky spots in his brain. "I can't get it out Nat. I still feel it there- a side of me that shouldn't be there. I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't." She moved her hand to the back of his neck and held his gaze. "Fight it. You're better than all of this." They were quiet for a long moment before Clint took a long shaky breath.

"Thanks…again."

"Don't mention it." She turned him lose and wrung her hands together. "You do know too much…you are too close…but, I couldn't wipe you out even if I tried. To do that would mean taking a part of myself out of well." She sighed. "Loki…he needs to go though. He knows more than he should. He beat me once, but it will not happen again." Her jaw hardened.

"So we've mutually decided not to kill one another then?" He chuckled.

"Something like that." She smiled. "You look like hell."

"Gee, thanks." He ran a hand through his hair and winced. "Why are there bite marks on my wrist? That is kinky, even for you."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't into the whole knife at my throat roleplay." She smirked at him and shoved his shoulder. "Go wash up and we will figure out a game plan."

"Really? It was one of my favorites." Clint chuckled and stood up. He paused for a moment before moving quickly, his lips brushing against hers; to hell with S.H.I.E.L.D and Fury. Before she could react he escaped to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes as she stood up and paced over to the door, her mind reeling a million miles an hour.

Clint and Loki were both smears of red in her ledger. They both knew too much and Clint was far too close to her. She had told Loki that love was for children, but they both knew that was a lie. She had admitted to herself in that moment that she did love Clint, there was no more denying that. And that alone went against everything in her self made code. Her ledger may have been dripping red, but Clint was not a blotch she was willing to wipe out. And that meant Loki had to pay for what he had done; he had to be erased from her ledger.


End file.
